Follow who?
Lately I have been haunted by something I read somewhere (I know that is helpful). It has been bouncing around my head for a few weeks now, and to be honest it is quite intimidating…
Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1
Paul told the Corinthians to follow his example… in other versions he told them to imitate him.
That is heavy.
Looking back through my time as a pastor, I have always told people not to put me on a pedestal, not to look at me as something to emulate, or base their faith off of. But as I read through this, I can not help but see that Paul is saying very plainly that his flock should do as he does as he pursues Jesus…
This intimidates me.
This intimidates me because it gives me a high standard to live up to. It says that I need to be above reproach at all times, that I need to be in a constant headlong pursuit of Jesus… That even when I am stuck in traffic on 695 in the morning, and the guy in front of me with Pennsylvania tags cuts me off without signaling (other than telling me that I am number 1), even then I need to be pursuing Christ.
It intimidates me because I am flawed.
It intimidates me because I have issues and baggage.
It intimidates me because while I want nothing more than to be more Christ-like, I am far from it.
We often hear stories of church leaders who get caught going astray… Pastors who have a “church facade”, and then have a private life. I have long feared that the intimidation that I feel from this verse will cause me to create a facade in my own life. A fake life that I can put out for public consumption, while at the same time I have a private life that a pastor would never be allowed to have. Early in my journey I had huge struggles with pornography and sexual addiction. It was this part of my life that caused me to run from the ministry that I was called to.
My fear was that in order to minister I had to be perfect.
I knew I was not perfect.
I refused to pretend.
Over the course of time I began to realize that we are not called to perfection.
Ten years ago I saw Paul as being perfect. I thought Paul had it all figured out. And while I believe that he had far more figured out than I do, it is my belief that he was flawed too. And while he was flawed he still pursued Jesus. I wonder if what he was saying was more of an invitation to the journey than a call to imitation…
An invitation to chase after Christ together, to imitate Christ together…
An invitation not to emulate Paul, but to emulate Christ in communion with one another…
I hope that this is not some kind of subconcious cop out on my part, because while I still cringe at the idea of asking people to imitate how I follow Jesus, I love nothing more than inviting people to persue him with me…
Filed under: church, leadership, life, ministry, reflection, students, worship
Great thoughts. To be a pastor is to embrace more grace than we can ever imagine. To be a leader who has flaws and remain true to who we are yet at the same time lead others in the way of Christ can be confusing and cause us to either give up and quit “trying to be an example” or to live two lives, one holy and one perverse. I think we need to recognize grace daily and lead as an example with extreme humility. Thanks for the vulnerability.
I have often prayed, “give me the power to follow you, God and the grace to lead others.” I also note that the idea of being a “priesthood of believers” is saying that we NEED one another to act as priests in our life - and at times we will do the same for others. So this life of faith is a life that is communal which I think supports your last sentance.
So - I think those called to leadership in the church; need to live an exemplary life - but it is not a life that is to be “percieved to be perfect.” We need to live a life that is honest. We need to as you say, “invite others to pursue Christ with us.”
It isn’t a cop out - it is a reality - we must be leading others toward Christ… they are to follow us as we follow Christ - we pursue Him together.