I am out sick today.
I am never out sick. The last time that I took a sick day was approximately three years ago when I had the death flu from hell.
So what happened? It was a conspiracy, I tell you, and it all starts with Oprah.
You see, Oprah apparently has a friend named Gail (I say apparently because I never watch her show… which is why she is out to get me), and it would seem that this friend Gail comes on the show every now and then (or so I have heard). Gail seems to like Ledo Pizza, an addiction that goes back to her days in College Park. Well, this pizza was being discussed on one of her shows that my beautiful, charming, wonderful (I say this because she is, and she is also providing me with the Immodium that I crave) girlfriend saw and instantly became brainwashed by the Oprah. The Oprah commanded her to take me to Ledo, and so we went.
And I am still going.
Last night I was awakened by Mr. Bowel voice (one of those people who you do not, under any circumstances ignore) at 4:17 am, and 5:17 am, and 6:32 am, at which point Mr. Bowel voice and I decided it was far better just to stay up and communicate with one another for a while.
This is what I have learned…
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I am exhausted. My body has been waiting for a chance to rest, and the Oprah’s conspiracy to get me played right into my body’s needs. I think that I will work tomorrow, and then rest again on Sunday… all day.
Toilet paper with lotion is all that there will be in heaven.
I hate my cell phone (except for the cool new White House Rumble game, think Mike Tyson’s Punch Out with presidential candidates, makes bathroom time much more fun)
T’s landlord REALLY needs to fix these pipes… and soon.
Soup always tastes better when you are sick.
I do a really poor job of calling in sick to work. I always feel guilty, even when I can not leave the bathroom for more than 10 minutes.
We have a nice couch.
Joel went and posted about our time with Brian McLaren at Dunkin Donuts yesterday… I hope to post something about it tomorrow, or Sunday (I have a couple of other takeaways, but he is right about Brian’s warmth)…
I am also hoping to write a little bit about my political thoughts as soon as I can make them sound a little less cynical.
Until then, February 25th is coming… You should get me something nice for my birthday.
Filed under: Baltimore, For the record, life, reflection, worship
OK, 2 things.
First thing: yuck. Thank you for Over-Sharing
Second thing: That B Corporation thing you guys talked about sounds freakin awesome. I want to start one now.
Ok, 2 things.
First thing: I am just trying to be authentic and open.
Second thing: You should move to Baltimore and start one with us. Maybe you can come to meet Brian with us next time.
[...] Something must be going around. At first I thought it was the massive ammounts of chili I ate Saturday night but it was definitely a virus. I won’t, however, be eating chili again any time soon. [...]